How I Met Your Mother

I watch way too much How I Met Your Mother.

I happened upon How I Met Your Mother earlier this year. My boyfriend found it on Netflix and we watched nothing but How I Met Your Mother for at least two weeks-- I mean that's gotta be a good ten episodes a day. At least.

And then, alas, the final episode. The TV became a black hole of nothingness and I didn't know what to do with myself. It was like Ted, Robin, Barney, Lily and Marshall were my friends, and they were all lost in a tragic accident that was the last available episode on Netflix. It didn't occur to me that the show would ever end, or that the episodes weren't infinite. That's the trouble with TV. It's way too real nowadays.

The first few days were pretty hard. I made it through, but only because I've secretly re-watched the entire show about five times in all. I just put it on whenever I'm by myself. Whenever I clean or do homework. Or blog. It's embarrassing how many times I've seen it but to be fair I'm one of those background TV watchers who tune in and out and isn't actually watching all the time. But it's the ultimate lazy day-off show.

In fact, for the lazy watcher it's the ideal show because it's so easy to watch. People are always saying how good or bad shows are but no one ever mentions how easy it is to watch. That's actually a pretty big factor in my opinion. Like with food, it's not all about the taste. It's also about the texture, how easy it goes down. It's serious and emotional when it needs to be but for the most part it's not too heavy of a show. No one stays too mature for too long. On a scale of light and easy to The Office, I'd rate this show light and easy, A+ on the watchability scale. And don't get me wrong-- I love The Office-- but damn is it hard to watch Michael Scott. Michael Scott? Is that right? Gotta be.

So if you're sick in bed with a bowl of soup, watch How I Met Your Mother. Or read my blog. One of those. Or both. You might become the pro background TV-watching, internet-surfing multi-tasker I know you can be. And if you are lonely because let's face it, you have no friends and no chance of having any intimate relations in the very near future, watch this show. It's got great characters. They'll be your friends. That's a little creepy but you know what I mean. But if you are watching TV to satisfy some secret need for a level of human connection that you're too anxious to achieve in real life, these are the virtual friends for you.

Tweed Noseby

Ted tells the story of how he met his wife to his kids, and that is the whole show. His kids aren't remotely interested in what he has to say which is stupid. If it were my dad I'd listen all day. In fact, the show inspired me to get my dad a journal for Father's Day to write a bunch of stories and memories for me to read to my kids one day. Good idea right? All thanks to Ted. He narrates the show by telling his kids about his search for the one, and all the ones that didn't work out along the way. I guess it's a little cheesy but who doesn't love cheese. Ted is also the douchebag of the group, who always give him shit about it. That's the other thing I love about the show. People don't give each other enough shit. Hopefully this show teaches friends not to keep their mouths shut when their friends are being idiots. Someone's got to put them in their place.

Robin Scherbatsky

And then there's Robin, who Ted falls in love with in the first episode and is way too cool for how hot she is, so maybe not a very realistic character, but I like to think this world contains pretty people like Robin who are a little more down to earth. The hot girl doesn't always just have to be some super slut. Well she's a little bit of a slut, but not in a blatant way-- she's more of a classy secret slut. Anyway, Robin is crazy and Canadian and a news reporter and was once a teen pop star who went by the stage name Robin Sparkles. She shoots guns and drinks scotch, and I just hope one day I'll be the shit like Robin.

Swarley Stinson

Daddy's home. If you're a boy, you'll like this show because of Barney. He's an asshole, but he's hard to hate, because as much as he lies and cheats and plays every bimbo in New York, he's always there for his friends. And bimbos are bimbos; that's what they get. I think perhaps the world needs more men like Barney. We've got way too many sexy sluts running around; someone's got to keep them in check. Until Barney Stinson bimbos were the top of the food chain in the US. So as offensive as he may be, he too is the shit. He's all suits and sex and catch phrases and elaborate pranks and schemes. He has a twisted sense of reality, but he's a bro.

Lily Pad & Marshmallow

And then there's Lily and Marshall. It's like on every show the relationships are on and off and that's the only way people stay interested, but apart from one bump Lily and Marshall are a constant couple and I like that. They complete the spectrum of relationships in the group. So there's sleep-around one-night-stand Barney Stinson and then there's never-had-sex-with-anyone-but-each-other Lily and Marshall, and they're just as awesome if not more. So couples are still cool people... Getting married can still mean something. I feel like the rest of television/the world forgets that.

Anyway Marshall's sort of a creep and a bit of a pussy but he's a man when he needs to be. Lily is a sweetie but a bitch when she wants. They are the ultimate couple, second only to myself and my boyfriend, and I think every serious relationship should aspire to be like them. Tell each other what you ate for lunch. Tell each other everything. There is lots to be learned from these two.

Anyway, I can't do any of these characters justice with words alone so here's a short video. If this doesn't make you watch How I Met Your Mother I don't know what will.