Ancient Aliens

I don't care what anyone says, Ancient Aliens is the shit. About half of what they say is total blatant nonsense, but the rest of it seems about right. In fact, bullshit included, I still find Ancient Aliens more believable than any religion. But I mean I'm not religious.

Anyway, you're told a bunch of stuff in Middle School, but no one tells you about the gaping holes in our history books, gaping holes most likely inhabited by aliens. You can laugh if you want but watch the show.
Like this thing. That's either a giant mechanical mushroom or it's an ancient UFO. What else could it be? It's got it all. The cute little circle sun in the corner like in all your kid's pictures. Cute little curly flames coming out the bottom. A guy? lying down? in the flames? Sucks for him. He's also huge if this picture's to scale, or else UFOs are smaller than I thought they were.

And come to think of it, maybe they are. A lot of these personal sized space ships creep up in a lot of old art around. But why would we be painting people in little capsules if that wasn't the case. I mean do people just think all this up on their own?
You're telling me everyone thought up God on their own too. Oh yeah, Heaven, and all the variations of it, in every belief system people keep coming down from the sky. What's up with that? Maybe there really are Gods somewhere up there? No. There aren't. There's just aliens and UFOs.

Look here's another one. This guys driving that shit. I mean there are wires, controls and pedals and pipes and all that. If that's not a diagram for a DIY space ship then I don't know what is. I mean maybe they sold these at the Mayan market, the Mayan equivalent of a modern day car. Who knows. They were clearly more advanced than we give them credit for.
And even if you don't accept ancient aliens, you have to admit there are too many mysteries for us to pretend we know what we're talking about.


This guys looks like he knows what he's talking about. Look at that hair. He's so smart his head creates static electricity. Make fun of him if you want but when it comes down to it, his forehead and hair are only that big to accommodate his ingeniousness. Like Albert Einstein. Am I right? I'd say he's at least a little Einstein-esque.

So like I said, It's not up to me if you believe it or not, but give it a shot. Until someone can give me an adequate explanation for Stone Henge and the pyramids and all that crazy shit, I'm gonna go with Ancient Aliens.